Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  you can still come hang out if you want

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I really don't feel like watching you play video games

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  (717): you can still come hang out if you want (248): I really don't feel like watching you play video games http://tfl.nu/d4ru
  Replies (19) Good night (846) Bad night (1587)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.

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  (647): hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight. http://tfl.nu/a6ne
  Replies (4) Good night (722) Bad night (2043)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again

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  (404): Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again http://tfl.nu/4z80
  Replies (59) Good night (704) Bad night (3519)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials

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  (815): I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials http://tfl.nu/tg93
  Replies (11) Good night (1005) Bad night (3394)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry

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  (602): shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry http://tfl.nu/ty7k
  Replies (16) Good night (7894) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You make your fellow Jews happy.

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  (412): I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more. (1-412): You make your fellow Jews happy. http://tfl.nu/gpio
  Replies (16) Good night (6334) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  vegan vag taste different. and not a good different

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  (419): vegan vag taste different. and not a good different http://tfl.nu/aqb4
  Replies (134) Good night (1110) Bad night (8513)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today

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  (850): I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today http://tfl.nu/9m95
  Replies (18) Good night (4628) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.

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  (850): some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face. http://tfl.nu/tn6y
  Replies (12) Good night (5104) Bad night (1715)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.

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  (734): He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked. http://tfl.nu/9iel
  Replies (3) Good night (1030) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.

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  (312): I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM. http://tfl.nu/w4qm
  Replies (2) Good night (1146) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?

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  (262): Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore? http://tfl.nu/hk51
  Replies (2) Good night (413) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.

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  (806): Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom. http://tfl.nu/49p8
  Replies (0) Good night (268) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high

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  (519): can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high http://tfl.nu/opzj
  Replies (2) Good night (480) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that

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  (713): You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that http://tfl.nu/hi6n
  Replies (6) Good night (336) Bad night (747)

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