Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?

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  (414): dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down (920): wtf? who are you bitching about me to now? http://tfl.nu/k0ih
  Replies (5) Good night (626) Bad night (1281)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  dibs.

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  (203): the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces... (603): dibs. http://tfl.nu/d3kw
  Replies (30) Good night (892) Bad night (2108)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.

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  (580): I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/vucu
  Replies (18) Good night (6632) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.

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  (402): I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members. http://tfl.nu/ande
  Replies (19) Good night (1740) Bad night (3522) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me

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  (973): i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me http://tfl.nu/lmdm
  Replies (20) Good night (6469) Bad night (897) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.

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  (908): I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway. http://tfl.nu/lu4f
  Replies (14) Good night (1140) Bad night (2557) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

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  (913): Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. http://tfl.nu/f12g
  Replies (1) Good night (2050) Bad night (603) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.

  (1-989): View more from Michigan

  You did this to yourself.

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  (989): I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation. (1-989): You did this to yourself. http://tfl.nu/o89r
  Replies (11) Good night (1512) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.

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  (304): I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell. http://tfl.nu/ufac
  Replies (17) Good night (1662) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea

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  (843): I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/qtt5
  Replies (4) Good night (1364) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.

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  (360): I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this. http://tfl.nu/abfh
  Replies (2) Good night (476) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?

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  (845): Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird? http://tfl.nu/8vw8
  Replies (7) Good night (786) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok

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  (609): I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok http://tfl.nu/nqil
  Replies (4) Good night (202) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.

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  (850): Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too. http://tfl.nu/dtev
  Replies (8) Good night (408) Bad night (130) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.

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  (608): I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books. (608): I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night. http://tfl.nu/nd7e
  Replies (0) Good night (513) Bad night (285)

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