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dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
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