And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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