Plan B is the new Plan A
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?