oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
