seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...