Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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