I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize