Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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