what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
