I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
