I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
