This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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