The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
