fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
