they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
