we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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