Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
