So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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