So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
