i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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