I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
