He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
