When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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