I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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