I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
