You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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