Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
