It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
