i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
