Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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