Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
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I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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