Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
