Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
