I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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