So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
4 words: hood of his car
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So many bounce houses so little time
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
