He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
