well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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