My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
