Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
