is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
