and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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