Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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