You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
