I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize