Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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