It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
