Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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