Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
