so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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