In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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