i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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