I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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