I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
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these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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