the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Moan for me like Helen Keller
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
