I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
