Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize