He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize