3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize