I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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