I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
