I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
