I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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