Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
