I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
