Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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