Moan for me like Helen Keller
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
