Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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